A curious game which involves suddenly hitting people for no readily apparent
reason and then running away. "Let's be blunt, it's a nasty game,"
says The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy.
The rules are as follows:
Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won’t need them,
but it keeps the crowds amused.
Rule Two: Find one extremely good Brockian Ultra Cricket player.
Clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection
and training.
Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field
and build a high wall around them. The reason for this is that, though the
game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience
at not actually being able to see what’s going on leads them to imagine
that it’s a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has just
watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life affirmation than a
crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting
history.
Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over
the wall for the players. Anything will do – cricket bats, basecube bats,
tennis racquets, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.
Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they
are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scored a “hit”
on another player, he should immediately run away as fast as he can and apologize
from a safe distance. Apologies should be concise, sincere, and, for maximum
clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.
Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.